Some days I feel stretched toward Heaven like a Gothic spire, drawn upwards by the power of Christ's ascension and yearning for a homeland I have never seen before.

Other days I am content to be one with the earth from whence I come, to roam the mountains and rivers, to feel stones beneath my feet, to hear Highland music and to dance.

I think this is what it means to be human.

Revelation

I had a revelation about vocation today.

It may be obvious to others, and I myself have known it for a long while, but God made me acknowledge it in a new way today.

Before we can even begin to discern the way in which we may best serve Our Heavenly Father in this world, whether it be priesthood, religious life, consecrated single life or marriage, we must first realize our universal vocation to LOVE.

Without this, any path you set out on, no matter how well suited you are for the job, will be stale and ultimately fruitless.

The Lord tells us that apart form Him we can do nothing.  Not some things, not the same things but not as well, but NOTHING.

We have to bind ourselves to Him.  In binding ourselves to Him, fully becoming branches to His Holy Vine and members of His Mystical Body, we not only become members of Christ, but "members of one another."  Once this is done, we cannot help but love those around us.  We cannot help but see the blessings in every moment and rejoice in them and their Maker.  We cannot help but be undeniably joyful, even in the midst of suffering which will inevitably come.

Once we realize this Love which is our gift from Baptism, it will envelop us until "it is no longer [we] who live, but Christ who lives in [us]."  And if Christ lives in us, there is no path we cannot walk steadily and with joy.  In Him "we are more than conquerors."

Vocation begins with Love Himself.

Out of the Cave

The person who climbs up and out of the cavern, shrugging off the shackles of an old and shadowed life, will receive as a reward for skinned limbs and tattered clothes a view of The Truth, enlightened by The Sun, which is Good itself.

This person has three paths to choose between:

First, he or she could shrink back from the light, which burns the eyes at first.  "After all, in the cave we were safe.  We were warm.  Nothing ever bothered us, and nothing ever challenged us.  Shadow isn't so bad.  At least it doesn't burn me to my deepest being as does this Truth and Goodness."  This person will retreat from whence he or she came, trying to set the painful beauty behind them.  They re-shackle themselves gladly and sit in complacency once more, choosing to forever view shadows on a wall rather than the Sun.

Secondly, one could choose to embrace the Truth and Goodness to one's fullest capacity.  Once one's eyes are accustomed to the Light, an entire new reality opens up before them.  It is like being born again into a world of grass, rain, laughter, and most of all Light which illumines all.  This person will quickly forget the shadows that he or she once considered real and drink in the newness of life.  It seems that this would be the ideal, but there remains yet another road.

The last path begins when, after one has experienced the glory and joy of Truth and Goodness and frolicked in reality for a time, the person turns back to the cave.  But unlike the first person, he or she does not go back to stay.  They go back into the cave, forsaking for a time the new vitality they have discovered, in order to rescue their brethren who still fumble at chains in the darkness.  This person will attempt to free others as he himself was freed.  He will attempt to share the Truth.  But herein lies the greatest danger: when men born and raised in darkness hear of this Sun of Goodness, they take it as myth, as child's fantasy.  "How could anything exist beyond these shadows?  That road is steep and leads to nowhere.  You are mad," they scoff at their would-be deliverer.  They even put the person who selflessly bears this Truth to death.

If we have been enlightened by the glory of Goodness itself, do we have the bravery to descend once more out of love for our companions?  Can we keep our feet in the shadows and resist the return of our own shackles?  Above all, would we die to transmit the life-giving Truth to every man, woman, and child who lives in darkness?

The Sun Himself did.

Vienna Waits for You

Well, I'm definitely behind in my journaling!  Classes and travels have been in full swing for a couple of weeks now, and I've barely had time to sit down and write.  But everything seems to be worth writing about!  So, here we go.

We took a day trip to Vienna the first weekend after classes began.  Can I just say one thing?  Mass in an Austrian Church with Hapsburg royals buried underneath, celebrated in English and enriched by a Viennan Philippino choir opened my eyes wide to the true universality of the Church.  No matter the language that Her members speak, preach, or sing in, it will always be the same Christ that we worship.

The city is stunning in its architecture and its history.  We saw the balcony made infamous by Hitler's Anschluss speech and then later redeemed by Pope John Paul II's call world peace decades later.  We saw ancient ruins of the old Roman aqueducts and heard about how Marcus Aurelius died there when it was still a forest inhabited by "barbarians."  Also, Saint Stephen's Cathedral was magnificent in all it's Gothic architectural glory.

But the best part by far was walking around with a small group of my favorite people and seeing the sights.  The open air market was a bustle of activity, with hawkers crying out in many different languages.  We had to rescue one member of our group from an overly enthusiastic salesman, but other than that it was smooth intercultural sailing.

 After visiting a wine shop, exploring, and praying in Saint Stephen's some more, we all sat down for coffee at a little shop near the WWII memorial.  The fare was heavenly, and we were all exhausted but content after a long day.